Walking The Walk . . .

You're focusing on the stump. Somebody said that to me once. I had no idea what he was talking about. As it turned out, it was very wise advise, and something I think of a few times a week to this day. You're focusing on the stump. We all do it.  We look past the forest, and focus on that one dead stump in the middle. We miss seeing all the different trees. We miss seeing the sunlight streaming down through the branches. We miss seeing the squirrels playing in the leaves. We don't see the little white flowers blooming in the open spots where the sunlight gets through. We don't smell the fresh air, or enjoy the cool breeze. We don't hear the sounds of the birds.  We see that one ugly dead stump, and that's all we think about. We think about how that dead stump is messing up the forest. It's easy to think like that. To obsess on that one thing that's bothering us, that one thing that's not quite right with us, and fail to see the entire pictu

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." ~Romans 12:2 How many decisions do you think you make during the average day?  Think about that for a minute.  From the time you wake up in the morning, until you doze off that night, you do little else but make decisions.  Decisions about what you're going to wear.  What you're going to have for breakfast.  What you're going to do about a certain problem you've been having.  What you're going to try and get done, and what you're going to leave for tomorrow.  You'll interact with a number of people both on the phone, text, email, social media, etc.  There may be conflicts.  There may be difficult issues to address.  There may be choices you have to make.  All day long we're making decisions.  Some important.  Some not so important.  But we make hundreds

Welcome to the third and final installment in the What Are You Saying To Yourself? series. In the first part of this series, I talked about that negative internal dialogue that so many of us seem to have, and how to get a handle on how we talk to ourselves. In the second part of my series I talked about some common sources of this negative thinking.  And as promised, in this one, I'm going to tell you why it is so important to silence as much of this internal strife as we can. Learning some of these lessons, and practicing some of these techniques I've talked about has not been easy. But the benefits have made all that effort worth it. And I'll tell you why. Because I can sit now quietly and think.  I can think clearly. I can think without all that clutter that used to make it impossible to reflect--instead I was always reacting. And by reacting, I caused more problems, which lead to more stress, and more mental clutter, and more anxiety.  I finally broke that cycle. I'

"As churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife." ~Proverbs 30:33 Every time I read this proverb I remember something that Billy Graham wrote about why God takes anger so seriously. I hope I've remembered it accurately. When we lash out at people, we hurt them.  But this anger also creates all this conflict in our lives as well.  We don't seem to realize that, and that was the point Billy Graham made.  The reason anger is something that God takes so seriously is that He loves the person we're angry with just as much as He loves us, and anger causes harm to two people God loves! Anger serves no useful purpose. It ruins lives by making us bitter and resentful and hateful. It creates chaos. It ruins friendships. It destroys families. There are five words that if applied liberally could transform the world.  The first two words are, "I'm sorry."  The other three are, "please forgiv

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” ~Matthew 11: 28-30 As I said in PART I of this series, how we think is how we feel.  A lot of what creates stress and anxiety for us is internal, not external. The things we say to ourselves. And when that internal dialogue is predominantly negative, we become predominantly negative in our view of the world. If we want to reduce our stress and our anxiety, we have to work first on that internal voice. And as I said before, I used to be an expert at finding clouds rather than silver linings. And there were three things that always seemed to drag me down that road of negative thinking that was at the root of my anxiety. Things We Can Control Vs. Things We Can Not Control As I mentioned previously, I used to spend a great deal of time worrying over t

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." ~Matthew 5:9 The world has never been in more need of peacemakers than it is right now, and never have we been in such a world where so few can be found.  Leaders who possess the ability to bring people together where they agree.  Leaders with the wisdom to know how to settle disputes rather than amplify them.  I've never seen anything so sad as what I've been witnessing over the last few weeks--watching our country be destroyed by its own people.  Where are the peacemakers? Jesus said to us very clearly that we were to love the Lord with all of our hearts, and love our neighbors as ourselves. Love is the answer here.  Not hate.  Not violence.  Not anger. Not vandalism.  Love.  Simple love for one another.  Respect for one another.  Toleration for one another.  Appreciation for one another. We're going about this whole thing the wrong way.  That's because in our world today, we believe it'

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4: 6-7 How we think is how we feel. It took me a long time to figure that out. We all have that constant internal mental dialogue that runs incessantly in the background. It's so normal and we're so used to it, we don't think about it very much. But we should be thinking about it much more because that dialogue is coming from us, and for many of us it is a constant stream of negative thoughts. You wake up in the morning: Ugh! Another day! You hear a funny noise coming from your car: That's going to be $1,000 bucks to fix . . . It rains during the night: my sump pump will probably quit. I'm too old and too set in my ways to change now . . . I'm not talented enough  to do this . . . I'm not sma

We've all heard the term "mission statement."  Companys have them.  Starbucks.  Nike.  The Ford Motor Company.  It's a short statement that encompasses that company's purpose and goals.  Walmart's is by far one of the shortest: "We save people money so they can live better."  The benefit of having a mission statement is that it guides every decision a company makes.  Its employees know what they are about.  It's the principles that guide every decision that company makes. But individuals can have mission statements, too. In fact, they should!  Too many of us drift through life without any real clear direction or any sense of purpose.  A mission statement can be a powerful tool in finding that direction for your life, defining what you're about, and can be used to help you make every major decision in your life--it's either in line with that purpose (your mission statement) or it's not.  I'd attended an online seminar a few months