Learning To Love Difficult People

We all have that person, don't we? You know exactly who I'm talking about. Maybe it's someone at work who constantly undermines you. Perhaps it's a family member who knows exactly which buttons to push. Or maybe it's that neighbor whose very presence makes your jaw clench. You know who I'm talking about, because their face just popped up in your mind.  And you're not alone. We've all got difficult people in our lives, and today, Jesus has something radical to say about how we're supposed to love them.

Read what Jesus says in Matthew 5, verses 43 through 48. Listen carefully, because this teaching goes against everything our culture tells us: 

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." 

This isn't a suggestion. Jesus is calling us to something that feels impossible.  He calls on us to love the very people who hurt us, frustrate us, and make our lives difficult. The world says, "Love your friends and avoid your enemies." Jesus says, "Love your enemies and pray for them." That's a completely different way of living.

Because here is the truth. That difficult person you're thinking about right now is someone God deeply loves. Let that sink in for a moment. The person who wounded you, who betrayed you, who drives you absolutely crazy?  God loves them with the same fierce, unconditional love that He has for you.  They were created in God's image, just like you were.

It’s easy to love people who love us. It’s a much greater test of our faith and our character to learn to love people who don’t.

So here's what I want to try this week. It won't be easy, but I want you to pray for that difficult person by name. Just once this week, bring them before God in prayer. Not a prayer that God would change them or fix them or make them see how wrong they are. Instead, pray that God helps you to see in that person what He sees in them. 

When you start praying for someone, something shifts inside you. You can't keep hating someone you're genuinely praying for. I have names on my prayer list that have been on there for years. People who probably genuinely hate me. But do you know what?  Every once in awhile, one of those names comes off my list.  Something changes, and more often than not it surprises me to no end!

I have found that it becomes harder and harder to keep seeing somebody as an enemy when you're asking God to show you His heart for them.  This is how transformation begins.  It doesn’t begin with grand gestures or forced reconciliation, but with a simple prayer that invites God to change your perspective.

Will you try it this week?

~Pastor Todd Creason